i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
