He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
