i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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