I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
