Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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