Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
