it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
