Your dad touched me again.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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