Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
