All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
