So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
