Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
