and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
