She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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