Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize