He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
