PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
