so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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