I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
