I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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