i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize