It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
