He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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