Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
