he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
