chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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