god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
