so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
