I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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