my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
