Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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