found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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