Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We have so much sex to catch up on
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
