Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
