i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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