We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
