we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
