I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
