Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
