Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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