why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
