I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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