I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
