guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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