my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
