Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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