i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
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new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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