butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
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I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
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I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
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