Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
