Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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