It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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