this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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