He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm sobbing to NWA
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
