Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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