so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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