Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
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I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So much rum. So many feels.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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