I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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