And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
