will power is for people who don't want to get laid
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
