yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
