Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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