he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
