my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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