Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
