Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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