i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
