and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize