just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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