I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
