Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
